Below is the list of funny/significant quotes taken from the dialogues of the characters in the manga. Rough translation. This list of quotes are used in the random quotes script at the to of every page. Feel free to use them as your e-mail signature of stuff. Thanks to @nt!v!ru$ and also Dave Evans of http://www.mangatranslation.com for his GTO (1-9) text translations, where I swiped some of them to be put here. My favorites are in bold.

Say, Tokiwa. I have heard that you're being called the "taekwando queen". So, how if you show me what you got! - Eikichi Onizuka.

If we have a teacher just like him, we will surely have more desire to study... - Ryuji Danma.

You only knows to copy what you read from the book to the blackboard! - Ai Tokiwa.

If we can't pass our own judgment, then who else will do it for us? Teachers? Parents? The police? Hmph! - Ai Tokiwa.

Stay away from me! I'm not good enough to be your friend. I'm just an 'unpure' soul. - Miyabi Aizawa.

You're just a little brat that need a HUGE spanking! - Eikichi Onizuka.

Still, I become a teacher because I am 100 times better than all of you. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Fuyutsuki, sometimes violence is the only way to get the message across. - Eikichi Onizuka.

My Cresta, my home, my family, my daughter..... - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Genie of the Lamp, now I wished that my homeroom teacher skips the boring social studies class and take me out for a serving of high-quality tuna sushi. - Urumi Kanzaki.

That kid is a GHOST!!! How can I be talked into going to this useless journey anyway!!! - Miyabi Aizawa.

You've been blinded by the promises of rewards, just like 'them' - Ryuji Danma.

All teachers are just the same. - Miyabi Aizawa.

Welcome to Miyabi's bedroom - http://www.miyabiaizawa.com

I really don't know why, but the thing I'm sure is that I really love him, no matter what. - Anko Uehara.

That's it? - Eikichi Onizuka.

I will make everyone in the world to go after you! - Urumi Kanzaki.

We are here to have a vacation, not to dig some obscure turtle eggs. - Saeko Iijima.

You pay for this! - Touru Fujisawa.

(annoy) (annoy) (annoy) You don't have any right to do that! (annoy) (annoy) (annoy) - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

Uwaa.. will my salary this month are finished to treat this good-for-nothing Onizuka? - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

I'm really shocked, that the always-serious disciplinary principal will have the guts to fondle a little woman, and maybe he fondle her very passionately. Thinking about that, I will get goose bumps! - Mysterious O-sensei.

From 10 bald men, 9 are perverts! - Riyoko Uchiyamada.*

You see, because the head of the family is often absent from home because of work commitment, it's natural for the dog to regard them as their enemies. - Tadashi Sakurai.

What do you mean when you were talking about the autistic girl earlier??? - Urumi Kanzaki.

For you, she maybe just someone among the 400 students, but for a student, there's only one teacher for them. - Eikichi Onizuka.

I want to be a teacher. The greatest teacher ever... - Eikichi Onizuka.

If you stand by your principals, you are not a "trash" - Eikichi Onizuka.

Schools today are teaching useless things. That's why students don't like to study. - Eikichi Onizuka.

I envy you because you can easily forget your troubles and sadness - Urumi Kanzaki.

Bad people are neither boys nor girls!! - Eikichi Onizuka.

Well, this kind of thing is also part of my job though. You know it's really a lot of trouble, being a police officer in Japan. - Toshiyuki Saejima.

Wahahaha ~ !! The famous Onizuka from the Legendary Shonan Onibaku combo is the slave of a middle-school girl? - Toshiyuki Saejima.

If she's wearing a student's uniform, it'll feel like she's an amateur and you can get rid of your virginity right? - Toshiyuki Saejima.

Middle school students shouldn't be talking about tuna!! - Eikichi Onizuka.

I'll get my revenge on those teachers who have that "holy vocation" look on their faces!! - Urumi Kanzaki.

In a time of emergency like this, history shows that small sacrifices are not necessarily evil. - Yoshito Kikuchi.

Cheer up! Kids should be like kids! - Eikichi Onizuka.

If you always worry about the past it's your loss because you won't be able to enjoy the present. - Eikichi Onizuka.

What's this first world country crap? It's really a third- world country!! If they have that much free time, they should listen to their unsatisfied common citizens like me!! - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

That man does terrible things, doesn't he? He's a devil right? - Yoshiko Uchiyamada.

I'm gonna be raped!! By that ass scratching demon teacher!! Ah what should I do? I'm sure that he's going to use that T ruler to do THAT and THIS to me.. - Ruruka Hikita.

I'm definitely going to be raped. I'm going to become that blonde parasite's wife. Then, just like in The Fly . . I'll give birth to the "next generation" - Ruruka Hikita.

Now we have no choice but to make him drink out 'Witch's Revenge Curse Potion' immediately to kill him. If we leave it like this, then he'll rape Ruruka for sure. On top of raping her, he'll do THIS and THAT ... - Madoka.

Aah. . How come nobody will come to my wedding ceremony even though I'm so pitiable . . ? We're going to have to consumate the marriage at least three times... - Ruruka Hikita.

Wow - Amazing. Onizuka and Hikita from the 4th class are kissing. And she's even in the cowgirl position... - Itou from the soccer club.

From now on I'm gonna live life with a fighting spirit! - Eikichi Onizuka.

You're a teacher, but your self-conciousness isn't sufficient!! - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Starting today, I'm gonna be this class' homeroom teacher, Great Teacher Onizuka! - Eikichi Onizuka.

Kids today are scary. - Dai Nerima Milky Way sect cult leader.*

The word 'impossible' isn't in my dictionary... but I don't really have a dictionary you know? - Eikichi Onizuka.

Bad kids aren't going to win anyway. - Eikichi Onizuka.

So there are pretty and dirty ways to win in a competition? All you gotta do is win. Just win. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Sorry, but I stop being a teacher at 5 o'clock. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Don't I always tell you not to judge people just by looking at them? - Juria Murai.

All men have something a bit like a 'bad seed' in them. - Eikichi Onizuka.

That's why I've always said that you can't expect much from your dad, Yoshiko. - Riyoko Uchiyamada.

A man should harvest the seeds that he has sown himself. - Eikichi Onizuka.

A man should at least try to show his guts, right? - Eikichi Onizuka.

In the end, for humans, the ones with the most strength are the ones that win. - Hajime Fukorada.

There's no way an unhealthy guy like him that camps out in front of convenience stores could beat a guy like me, who was admired for my body that is sheer muscle from the top of my head to the tips of my toes! - Hajime Fukorada.

What's wrong with you!? I'm so fuckin' pissed!! - Miyabi Aizawa.

A teacher should at least be able to teach his class! - Miyabi Aizawa.

Are you gonna betray the dreams of a child? - Some idiots.

What do you think about having more faith in you yourself? - Eikichi Onizuka.

Well, all I can do is going along with the flow.... - Tomoko Nomura.

What the hell kind of education does he think that is? - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

I've always been pissed off by this shitty principal. - Tomoko Nomura.

Sp.....spot? There's no freakin' spot! - Eikichi Onizuka.

If you're gonna be a pervert, don't get found out. Common sense man, common sense. Right, Principal? - Eikichi Onizuka.

If you are going to fire Onizuka, no Professor Onizuka, please fire me too! - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Yeah, Fuyutsuki-chan you're totally in love with him ~ ah, I hit it on the head didn't I? - Naoko Moritaka.

The only one that can literally change the current twisted world of education is him (Onizuka). - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

I hate people like you who graduated from a fifth-rate university and aren't ashamed of it. - Suguru Teshigawara.

You're just a temporary teacher from a fifth-rate university.... You'll definitely be weeded out through natural selection. - Suguru Teshigawara.

You aren't supposed to laugh at school!! What the hell does he think education is? - Tadashi Sakurai.

Sometimes it's ok man - for teachers to ditch class ~ ! Let's just take off! Take off! Like when we were students. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Only being recognized as a woman, always getting these perverted stares from people. - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

Women are troublesome, aren't they? - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

Her name is not very important, but your feelings are! - Fuyumi Kujirakawa.

It's funny right - her body's so well suited for sports - the manga club? Manga!! - A nosy student.

Your brains can only thinks about dirty things. Abnormal teacher! - Kunio Murai.

I love it when it is crowded here. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Well! Aren't you full with the will to do it? - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

I'm gonna show ya the willpower of a teacher! - Eikichi Onizuka.

I'll get first place and show them what it's like to be a teacher! With all that I've said, I have to do it now - just to be a man. - Eikichi Onizuka.

He's (Onizuka) dangerous, he'll rape you or something - he's got the face of a criminal. - Hidemi Oota's friend.

Leave it to me! Doggie-dzuka Eikichi, 22 years old! I'll do anything to cancel my getting fired - but I'm not good at it if it takes a brain. If possible, something that uses a dick.... - Eikichi Onizuka.

What I hate the most are kids like you that make fun of adults. - Eikichi Onizuka.

You're a rude kid, ain't ya? If you wanna be licked so much, why don't you get a dog to lick you or something? - Eikichi Onizuka.

Group? Third year, fourth class! Bastards!! - Eikichi Onizuka.

Ah, idiot I was number 100 - that means there's 100 stupid guys under me, what's wrong with that!! - Kunio Murai.

Hiiiiii~ Mo Moritaka-sensei wi wipe it off quickly~ Could somebody really have done a counter-curse on me? - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Kyaah~ I'll be infected with the curse... - Naoko Moritaka.

He wouldn't die or anything from something like this. The invincible hero. The "National Kid" of Kisso Gakuen. - Ryoko Sakurai.

If you look at the eyes you'd understand! At his eyes!! They are the eyes of a common criminal!! Those eyes!! Don't you understand!? Director!!? - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Hm? I think they're pretty eyes. Like Brad Pitt. - Ryoko Sakurai.

What would happen if we started out doubting our educators? Or should we believe in them and wait patiently? That's the attitude of an educator. - Ryoko Sakurai.

Hiiii~ It's restructuring. Restructuring has begun! If that's how it is, it will probably start with us old guys first.... - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Hiiiii~ It's over! Ev.. Everything ends with this~ The loan on my house, my daughter's education, the repairs to the body of my Cresta, my world-wide travel plans after retirement... - Hiroshi Uchiyamada.

Ah, also, my type are girls like Matsu Takako - active and from a good family - Eikichi Onizuka.

Wouldn't it be shameful for a teacher not to get a perfect score....? Hahahaha - Eikichi Onizuka.

I think all you're ears have been plugged up, so listen carefully because this is a class from me, who's smarter than a graduate of Tokyo University and number one in Japan. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Even without hearing stuff like that, he's all full of himself for being on TV. He even thinks that he's a talent, this primitive Peking man. - Ryuji Danma.

If large bunches of little monkeys started to imitate this impudent gorrilla what would you do? I don't know what would happen. Really. - Ryuji Danma.

Not just that, but they might even come as far as the Japanese educational system. If the future of Japan is to have more moron teachers like this guy... - Ryuji Danma.

For some reason, they just don't understand my good points, women of this world - is what I end up thinking and all. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Those nice breasts and nice breasts and nice breasts and yeah, nice... - Eikichi Onizuka.

Ah, I know a secret technique to prevent breasts from dropping. Shall I show you? - Eikichi Onizuka.

It's about time that I really get one ~ If I stay a virgin like this, my reproductive organs are going to degenerate. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Is she going to be the first postcard in Onizuka's Girlfriend Collection Corner ~? - Eikichi Onizuka.

No wait, don't rush it!! At the worst if she discovers our secret motive my bluebird of happiness might escape! Play it up cool and naturally!! All.. All right! So this will be my first sexual experience that's been my heart's desire.. Ah, my dick.... Hey don't be hasty.. Ah.. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Yeah, that's how they are. At times like this women hide the fact that they're having their period. That's how women are - I mean, I don't really mind bloody play, but... - Eikichi Onizuka.

That's terrible. I don't want to do it. Teaching a class that girl is in.... How many people do you think have developed male pattern baldness because of that girl? - Tadashi Sakurai.

No way- Never - Can't cut it off before I've even had a chance to use it once! - Eikichi Onizuka.

Middle school kids are still only 14 years old!? They are still kids, they wouldn't do such a suspicious thing. - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

A teacher shouldn't start out suspicious of a student from the beginning. - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

I wasn't able to answer a student's question, I'd be better off dead.... - Azusa Fuyutsuki.

But that chick did some bad stuff and so I thought I would torture her a bit, ah, no, give her a sermon.... - Eikichi Onizuka.

Shit shit what the hell is this 'America is like this' stuff! Stop screwing around ~ - Tadashi Sakurai.

That's not a line that I would expect from the old "2nd year 4th class" homeroom teacher tormenting group's tactician - Urumi Kanzaki.

Don't stop me. It's my policy that one should take care of the asses in their own class. - Eikichi Onizuka.

This kind of education is important until she understands!! Well, just watch this. One hit and she'll become a sweet little girl! - Eikichi Onizuka.

You are a teacher who have the student' trust, can you take the responsibility? - Urumi Kanzaki.

Idiot! I wouldn't betray you. I'm too chivalrous. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Ugyah~ Why the hell did she have to die from a bumped butt!? Uha.. Uhahaha!? .... this isn't funny - Eikichi Onizuka.

Don't you believe me? It.. It was an accident! Hey!! If you just ask Kanzaki you would understand.... Make a clone of her and ask! Hey!? - Eikichi Onizuka.

This - this isn't funny. I couldn't stand to get the death penalty ~ the one thing I won't allow is to be hung when I'm still a virgin! - Eikichi Onizuka.

A female middle school student is going to die!? Or maybe she's even dead already!! Unless something happens I'm gonna be a murderer - Ah!? Hey, are you listening to me!? Hey dammit! I'm gonna murder you! - Eikichi Onizuka.

Shit - why is everyone so cold! Where has the empathy of the Japanese people gone!? A female middle school student and her homeroom teacher are in a pinch... - Eikichi Onizuka.

Not... not those 'lips' Onizukaaaaaaaaaa..... - Eikichi Onizuka.*

Throw away your wicked feelings and try to save her life with purely innocent feelings... yeah, with pure feelings.... - Eikichi Onizuka.

N-no tha-that's why I went to Japan's most spiritually sacred mountain, to borrow some of Mt. Fuji's power.. for the resurrection ceremony.... Hahaha. - Eikichi Onizuka.

Hey hey, come on cut me some slack. I'm 22 man? Why the hell should I have to pretend to be like that sneezing demon or that 'Shazam!' guy.. - Eikichi Onizuka.

There couldn't be a teacher like you!! - Nanako Mizuki's father.

This is it right? What you said you hated. "The freezing wall" I busted it up with extreme predjudice! All done, right? - Eikichi Onizuka.

You, who were called "The worst parasite" in Eurasia University's history, a teacher!? - Punk.

You'll have to work really hard. Ah, right right, you'll also have to work on your "Grandmother pleasing" technique. - Eikichi Onizuka.

I tore up all the job hunting information magazines and used 'em to wipe my ass... - Eikichi Onizuka.

Goodbye miniskirts, Good bye loose socks, Goodbye after school "meetings".... - Eikichi Onizuka.

Do you really want to become a teacher that much? You should give it up. It isn't worth it to become a teacher. The salary is low, and it is a lot of trouble. You return home, and you get phone calls from the students, their parents, the police, all sorts of people. - Ryuji Danma.

That profession (teaching) sucks. - Ryuji Danma.

"Teaching aptitude test results", "references", man this is worse than a public school. Man, this is just like job hunting for a regular job. "Dream Job" my ass. - Eikichi Onizuka.

It is almost impossible. You, becoming a teacher is just as impossible as Nostradamus' predictions all coming true. Man, but if you could become a teacher, your life after that... - Toshiyuki Saejima.

Anyway, you should give up on being a teacher. It isn't really all that interesting. Instead, how about the black market? Won't you help me out? - Toshiyuki Saejima.

Damn, she is CUTE! And she looks . . . about the same age as me. It's just too bad that she's got pants on today... If it were a mini-skirt I could pretend to pick up my book and get a peek at her... - Eikichi Onizuka

This is why I don't like bald guys. Bald guys are dirty old men. - Eikichi Onizuka.

 

* = classic.